Collaborative Post¦ It’s odd to think that this time last year, we were just starting to realise that the Coronavirus pandemic wasn’t going to be over quickly. With many of us furloughed or working from home, we had been under the same roof as our partners for far longer than we had ever been before. I certainly never thought I’d spend such a huge amount of time with my husband until we were pensioners! Of course, this has gone on for far longer now and has affected people’s relationships in many ways. For some, it has strengthened bonds, while others have been tearing their hair out and even filed for divorce. Others have managed to find love in the Covid-19 pandemic, despite the odds being against them.
With vaccinations being rolled out across the UK and Covid test kits being readily available, hopefully things are on the way up. However, this will be a time we always remember. Everyone’s pandemic story is unique, as is how it has affected their relationships. Let’s take a look at some other bloggers’ experiences.
Resentment and Appreciation
The pandemic affected my relationship with my husband in really varied ways. I resented him for the fact that I took on the home learning whilst trying to work (my role is more flexible and less tied to a desk than his) whilst he got to shut himself in our spare room all day to do his job. I felt like he didn’t appreciate how hard and isolating it all was. It really negatively affected us because that resentment led to frustration and we had nowhere to vent it to except at one another.
On the complete flip side, spending a year almost entirely together with our kids made me appreciate what a great dad he is and other things I’d taken for granted. It made me feel like our family was a proper little safe haven against the world! Coming out of it, I still have those mixed feelings – I’m still resentful at times that I had to do all the juggling with little appreciation but I’m also aware that that enforced time together has made our relationship stronger… highs and lows I think!
Hayley at Devon Mama
Change of Routine
Protectiveness and Understanding
My husband and I were fortunate that we were used to spending a lot of time together as we ran a business together for the first 10 years of marriage. Lockdown was a entirely different experience though. We saw each other in an entirely different light.
I can suffer from anxiety, and the constant bombardment of stressful news would trigger me from the start. I noticed that he took on the role of making sure he knew the up to date news on the pandemic and restrictions etc, as well as doing all the shopping and anything that I may have found difficult. He took on a real protector role and I absolutely loved that. Plus, he was so understanding about how things affected me, and his calmness really helped me through.
On the flip side he saw much more of what I do and I think it surprised him. We are a home schooling family, so that part of our lives didn’t change, but he got to see just how much goes into schooling two children, as well as working ( from home, I am a VA) and running the home. He definitely appreciates what I do much more now.
Vikki at Best Lodges With Hot Tubs
Not Missing Out
More Quality Time
Less Quality Time
For us, even though we have been together so much more, it feels like we’ve not had time for our relationship at all. We have been at home a lot more with the children or trying to juggle work and kids. Things have seemed so much more exhausting with routines like bed times out the window, meaning we don’t get quality relationship time together. No dates, no early nights for the kids, no actual quality time together that hasn’t been tainted by the stress of what has been going on or conversations consumed by current events. Hopefully things will be brighter soon as we come out of social restrictions and we have more things to talk about other than work and coronavirus, as well as some actual date time together and fun plans!
Fast-tracking a New Relationship
A Total Change
I came over to UK for a job interview and to visit family. Was living with abusive husband in France. Met a new man and will be moving in with him into our own house bought outright. Kids love him too. So quite a year of dating and support bubbling and much time apart physically but very much together emotionally. Bring it on!
Kate at Kate on Thin Ice
As for me, it has been wonderful seeing my husband so much more. He has been working from home throughout the pandemic. Losing the 45 minute commute from his day has lead to him being much more involved in family life. It has also been extra useful having him around to give me a hand when I felt unwell during pregnancy and now with a newborn! I think it has helped us to appreciate each other more in different ways. I thought we would end up getting under each other’s feet and arguing a lot more, but actually we’ve barely argued at all. Perhaps less than before the pandemic, even, as a lot of the usual stresses of daily life just haven’t been there!
The last year has shaped our relationships with the people we know and changed them forever. Who would ever thought we’d need a mask, hand sanitiser and other now familiar paraphernalia to go out and engage with people? My relationship with my husband and our family unit feels stronger than ever. On the other hand, I know there are people that I’m not keen on acquainting with again due to their disrespectful and blasé approach to everything, when people I knew have died. One thing is for sure – I’ll certainly never take hugs and spending time with my family for granted ever again.
How has the pandemic shaped your relationships over the last year? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.