Engagement ring – does size matter?

Engagement ring – does size matter?

As I’ve previously mentioned, when Dave and I got engaged I was 18 and he’d turned 19 the day before. He was in college, only had a Saturday job and most of his money from that went towards petrol and car maintenance in order to get to work and college. As such, he didn’t have much money spare to buy me an engagement ring and had put a lot of the money he received for his birthday the day before towards it.

Promise ring/ bracelet

In late spring he’d decided that I was “the one” and given me his silver bracelet to wear, kind of in place of a promise ring. A promise that he’d propose to me once he had the money for a ring. People at school and family wondered why I was wearing a man’s bracelet, but I didn’t care. To me, it was a symbol of Dave’s love for me and how much I meant to him, but at the same time I felt embarrassed at the idea of actually explaining that it was kind of in place of an engagement ring.

The proposal

When Dave proposed to me, I loved the ring he’d chosen. It was an unusual style, white gold with a diamond. When I asked why he’d chosen that one, he said he thought that the white gold either side of the diamond symbolised us and the diamond represented love. He’s always kind of been cheesy like that!

0.1-Carat-White-Gold-Diamond-Engagement-Ring

Reactions to my engagement ring

When I showed my ring to many people, they were underwhelmed, probably due to the size of the diamond in it. It was 0.1 of a carat and not the best clarity. Less than two months later, standing at the till of a shop I worked in, I had my first insult. “Engaged, are you?” the man said to me. “Yes”, I said. “How old are ya?” he asked. I told him that I was 18 and he responded that I was too young, pretty much said it wouldn’t last and I should be enjoying life and that I deserved a bigger, better ring.

I was hurt and annoyed. How dare he tell me that we wouldn’t last and that I was too young? He didn’t know me, my life, my fiance or our relationship. However, I was also left a little flattened by him. The diamond in my ring was the smallest you could get. Everyone that came into the shop wearing an engagement ring seemed to have a much bigger diamond in theirs and don’t even get me started on the rocks that celebrities flash on the front of glossy magazines. They’re a million times the size of my stone.

Engagement Ring - Does Size Matter? 0.1 Carat White Gold Diamond Engagement Ring

So, does size matter?

The second ‘incident’ came a couple of years later, when I was 20. Working in an opticians, I was filling out an NHS form for a patient. “Oh, you’re engaged?” he asked. “Yes”, I said, beaming. “That’s a very small ring”, he said, “he can’t love you very much“. I felt my face flush slightly with anger. However, I was a stronger person than I’d been a couple of years before. I knew that Dave had spent so much time carefully choosing the ring he wanted me to wear for the rest of my life and worked so hard through that summer to make some extra money in order to buy me it.

Wedding-Engagement-Ring-Orange-Coral-Gel-Nails

You see, if it’s the right person, the size of the engagement ring doesn’t matter. You may have flashes of jealousy about other’s rings, you’re only human, but it doesn’t actually matter. Someone loves you so much that they have chosen you to ask to spend the rest of their life with them. They have thoughtfully chosen that ring as a symbol of their love for you and that is what it’s really all about.

What are your thoughts on this? Let me know in the comments below!

Wedding-Rings-Engagement-Ring-Does-Size-Matter

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Mummy Times Two

18 Comments

  1. 19th April 2017 / 9:26 am

    Firstly: “Yes”, I said, beaming. “That’s a very small ring”, he said, “he can’t love you very much“. – what an inconsiderate thing to say?! I think your ring is beautiful, and the reason for his choice is so lovely, and that is the most important thing! My engagement ring is simple but absolutely beautiful, I don’t care if other people have bigger, flashier rings, I love mine all the more for the fact that Sam chose it himself, spent time deciding on it and he got it spot on, which shows how well he knows me, and thats the main thing! Gorgeous post lovely lady xx

    • Autumn's Mummy
      19th April 2017 / 9:59 am

      Thank you! Yes, I think that’s the main thing. They’ve taken the time and effort into choosing it – and it’s even better when we love it as we both do! xx

  2. 19th April 2017 / 9:37 am

    The size of the ring shouldn’t matter, so long as it has meaning. Honestly, the bigger rings would look terrible on my tiny hand anyways, and I’m not a fan of most of super expensive looking ones! 🙂
    Amanda recently posted…My Kmart Mini Haul for under $20!My Profile

    • Autumn's Mummy
      19th April 2017 / 10:13 am

      I have tiny hands too! I think big ones would look equally as stupid on me. I do agree, some of the ones celebrities have are just hideous. I think often it’s just a big diamond for the sake of a big diamond, rather than having a nice design.

  3. 19th April 2017 / 11:03 am

    We had an odd proposal. Much like the rest of our relationship. We’d sorta started looking at weddings. But he hadn’t asked. Then one night he said “I think I’ll ask joe to be my best man” and I said, “hadn’t you better ask me first”. Then a few days later he brought me a fancy notepad when he met me from work and my friend Emily asked what it was for and he said “so we can plan the wedding” and Emily said, “hadn’t you better ask her first?”

    That night he said “could I ask you with a cheap ring? until I can afford one?” and I said “you can ask me with a Haribo” so next day we went to M&S and bought a £10 fashion ring and he said “will you then?” and I said “will I what??” then i walked him to work and before he went in he said “Donna, I love you, will you marry me?” and I said yes and he went to work!!

    Then the actual ring I saw when I was shopping with a friend and bought myself. It was a sapphire. Tiny and cheap but I loved it. I don’t wear it now though.

  4. 19th April 2017 / 2:07 pm

    No size does not matter. You have a beautiful ring (that sounds weird).

    Can I tell you what does matter though? Having a ring that retains its diamond and doesn’t require you to crawl about on a hotel room floor trying to find it. Yes that happened to me. I. WAS. EVIL.
    Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging
    Rach recently posted…Where Is The Love?My Profile

  5. 19th April 2017 / 10:17 pm

    Wow I will never get over the rudeness of people! Love is so much more than a ring and yours is just beautiful and has a lovely story behind it, much more important X #BrilliantBlogPosts

  6. 21st April 2017 / 9:11 pm

    I think size shouldn’t matter at all. When my husband proposed to me he bought me a beautiful ring that was in accordance with our budget at the time, but he always said when he had more money in the future he would upgrade my ring. Last year he upgraded it to a beautiful big diamond that was a proper blinger, but I still love my first ring and wear it on my right hand too! #brillantblogpost

  7. 23rd April 2017 / 3:52 pm

    I too got married quite young, and that shouldn’t be an explanation as too why our diamonds might be smaller. Most of my friends have diamonds 5 times the size of mine… It used to bother me, more because I felt sad that they looked down on something that was so symbolic and beautiful for me. But the reality is, once we become more concerned about the diamond or the extravagant wedding it takes away from the beauty of what marriage really is. It’s not about the materialistic, it’s about friendship and love. No diamond can give a couple that… Treasure your ring. It’s gorgeous, and its yours! Thank you for sharing with us at #globalblogging

  8. 25th April 2017 / 9:30 pm

    #postsfromtheheart controversially mine is big and sparkly – it however has NO DIAMOND, this is because we met, feel in love and later returned again to Barbados to get engaged and so I chose a ring that symbolised the island (a native stone) and our love not ‘classic diamond’…my size is huge, but like you I’m sick of comments from people about ‘oh no diamond?’ – I’m 100% with you that size, clarity, diamonds, classic – frankly a ring pull or a haribo are all valid and also irrelevant… diamonds aren’t a girls best friend if she has met her soulmate.

    • Autumn's Mummy
      26th April 2017 / 9:24 am

      That last sentence says it all really *round of applause*
      I love the symbolism behind your ring!

  9. 29th April 2017 / 3:14 pm

    I think your ring is beautiful, because I’ve always worked with children a big ring would never work for me – I would be far too worried about catching them with it. A ring is about the feeling (not the size) behind it #PostsFromTheHeart

  10. 29th April 2017 / 10:12 pm

    i cant believe that strangers would find it acceptable to comment on someone elses engagement ring. my ring is small; but thats because i dont like traditional engagement solitaire style rings.
    What ever the size, as long as the wearer is happy than who cares? #PostsFromTheHeart

  11. 10th May 2017 / 9:11 pm

    I find it so disgusting when people feel the need to make comments like that! Like who are you and why do you think your comment is neccesary! Your totally right, it doesn’t matter at all. The thought he put into it and the description is so cute! I can totally see how the either side of the diamond represents both of you! Very cute! 💙 I’ve worked in retail, and the comments people make in general just made me think like why do you feel the need, for the 3 mins im serving you, to make a personal comment at me! Love shines through always! 💙

  12. 10th May 2017 / 9:53 pm

    Wow I can’t believe people have actually insulted your ring, I think it’s absolutely gorgeous! I’ve never understood why people are so obsessed with having a big ring… My engagement ring and wedding ring are very similar to yours, and I love them. My husband was in university when he proposed so he saved up as much money as he could. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way!
    Loved reading this, thanks for sharing 🙂

  13. 9th June 2017 / 4:42 pm

    I love your ring, it’s delicate and has a lovely story behind it, and it suits your hand.

    My engagement ring doesn’t even look like a “proper” engagement ring. It’s two rows of very small diamonds in a cross shape…I couldn’t even tell you what carat they are or anything. But I love it. Hubs chose it himself, he’d paid attention to a comment I’d made months or years before that I couldn’t ever wear a ring with a big stone as I’d catch it on everything, and to me it symbolises exactly where we were in life when he proposed – we didn’t have a lot of money, but we had a lot of love. And that is what makes it perfect in my eyes.
    Sadie recently posted…our rainy day on the farmMy Profile

    • Autumn's Mummy
      12th June 2017 / 11:42 am

      Thank you. Your ring sounds lovely too!
      It’s the amount of love that it symbolises that really matters. What a beautiful way to look at it! 🙂

  14. 28th June 2017 / 9:06 pm

    The size of the ring doesn’t matter, all that matters is who gave it.. I told my now husband he could propose with a chew sweetie ring and I’d have said yes! Love is what’s important and now the size of the rock
    Sarah recently posted…My Daith Piercing!My Profile

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