When do you start feeling like a mother?

It was late January 2016 that I took my positive pregnancy test, so I’ve been thinking a lot about this time last year. I was thinking about when I started being a mum and when I started feeling like a mum. Without getting into a pro-life vs. pro-choice debate, I’d like to share my story and discuss with you when you first started being a mum.

I personally started feeling like I was a mum as soon as I saw the word ‘Pregnant’ on the pregnancy test I’d just taken.

My responsibilities as a mother started from that point:

  • I tried to rest when I felt like I needed it
  • I tried to exercise when I felt like I had the energy (which didn’t happen for the first trimester, as all I did was go to work, eat and sleep!)
  • I avoided lifting heavy objects
  • I didn’t drink alcohol
  • I tried to make sure I was constantly hydrated
  • I stopped eating all the foods you’re not supposed to eat during pregnancy and would spend ages scouring ingredients on packets of food just in case
  • I made sure I took folic acid, (to help prevent conditions such as spina bifida), and other vitamins
  • I tried harder to eat a healthy balanced diet – I was a vegetarian and I tried to start eating meat again, knowing it would be difficult to get all the nutrients the baby might need from plant based sources

To me, although the baby was only just beginning to grow and was the size of a poppy seed, there was a tiny little life inside me already and I was its mummy. I was already acting like a mum, doing everything I could to keep my child safe and healthy.

I think the first time I started to properly feel like a mummy though, was when I began to have a bump that was defined enough to make me look pregnant. As I’m so petite, this happened quite quickly. In my mind, I looked undeniably pregnant by 12 weeks and I rotated the same 2 baggy jumpers when I was at work to hide it until I had my scan.

This was taken when I was around 14 weeks pregnant:

As time went on, my maternal feelings intensified. Particularly after the scans at the hospital, as we could see that there was a proper tiny human in there! When I was in bed the night after the first scan, I felt flutters for the first time. Those tiny little kicks made it feel so much more real too. I’d talk to her, sing to her and place my hand where she was kicking so that she could feel my presence. I loved how the kicks intensified week after week (although not quite as much later in the pregnancy as sometimes she’d kick me so hard it was painful and left me feeling bruised!)

My maternal feelings intensified again after we had the 4D scan. As I could see in much better detail what she looked like and that she had hair, it felt almost like I’d met her. By the time she was born, I definitely felt like her mummy already. However, I know some women don’t properly feel like a mummy until their baby is born, or even for a little while after birth and I can understand that too.

When did you first feel like you were a mum? I’d love to hear from you, please comment below!

37 thoughts on “When do you start feeling like a mother?”

  1. I felt like a mum long before I was even pregnant. During our IVF when I was taking numerous meds, having eggs collected from me and them when our embryos were fertilised and placed back into me, I felt like a mum. I had a job to do which was to look after myself to ensure I could make the best possible home for any babies! Thankfully all worked and we have twins who turned five this week! Great post. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

  3. It’s an interesting thing to reflect on – I felt the responsibility of being a mummy when I was first pregnant. I had to look after that little baby growing inside me, but the real feeling of being a mummy happened when we first met our daughter. That moment will forever be one of my favourite moments 🙂 #ThatFridayLinky

    Helen x

  5. Thank you for sharing, especially the previous photos. My daughter was an utter surprise. I found out in a Wednesday night, and was in disbelief. Saw the doctor the next day, but still couldn’t truly believe it. But by the dating scan on the Friday, seeing that six week old heartbeat, I feel instantly in love and like her mother there and then. #thatfridaylinky

  7. Aw beautiful post! I didn’t feel anything like a mum until my lil boy was about 5 months old, I didn’t even love him until he was 3 months and felt so disconnected during the pregnancy and birth; I felt so worried because I didn’t feel anything! It was only when he started to recognise me and smile that I began to fall for him more and more and now he just melts my heart! 😀 xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara
    (lets follow each other on bloglovin or instagram)

  8. That’s such a shame, but I’m glad that you got there! 🙂 Everyone’s different, after all. I love how it was his recognition and smile that did it, that’s so cute! xx

  9. I like you had the maternal instinct kick in as soon as I had the positive test, I changed and lived a healthier lifestyle. Although the maternal instinct was there the mummy feeling didn’t come until Reuben was placed in my arms, we had two miscarriages before Reuben and so I think I had guarded myself a bit, although the further I went through the pregnancy I felt better it didn’t really kick in until he was placed in my arms. #thatfridaylinky

  10. That makes sense, I suppose you were trying to protect yourself from getting your hopes up too high in case you miscarried again. I’m sorry to hear about that by the way, that must have been so tough 🙁 I love the name Reuben, that was one of my top picks for if we had a boy! x

  11. It was tough but I wouldn’t change it as I wouldn’t have my two now. I love the name Reuben, I was the one who loved it more but it suits him x

  12. I think that is an imposible question to answer. Motherhood is such an evolving role and comes with evolving feelings. Peachy is 15 months old. As soon as I knew I was pregnant I felt like I had to protect her and do what was best for her. At our first ultrasound I was amazed. Seeing this little person and watching what she was up to in there made me feel much more conected to her. When she was born I was overwhelmed with love for her. Since then my love has only grown. Every day I feel like more of a mom. #ThatFridayLinky

  13. It’s an interesting question to reflect on. I guess I didn’t feel like a mother until I realized it was me. I was the one totally responsible for this little bundle 100% and If better get on with it! #fortheloveofBLOG

  14. A lovely post and beautifully written Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  15. Really interesting to think about this. I’m not sure when I first felt like a mum. I was very worried about miscarriage so in a way didn’t feel like a mum early on but then again kind of did and certainly knew I was pregnant and made all those diet/ lifestyle changes in the first few weeks. Thanks for sharing your post on #fortheloveofBLOG

  16. Honestly, I didn’t feel like a mum until about a week after my little girl was born and I do feel slightly ashamed of feeling that way. Of course I cherished her kicking away and moving about inside me but it never really hit home for me.
    But now I can’t imagine life without her! #PostsFromTheHeart

    http://www.bespokebuckley.com

  17. Yes, I think even if you feel like a mother at the start it definitely changes as time progresses and the baby is born, grows etcetera. I love your response to this, thank you for commenting!

  20. I can understand that. I was worried about getting too excited about having a baby, as I was so worried about the idea of a miscarriage and didn’t want to build myself up to even more upset and disappointment. Thank you for commenting 🙂

  21. Please don’t feel ashamed of feeling that way, everyone is different! It is life changing and a weird experience really, so everyone handles it in their own unique way. Thank you for commenting x

  22. It was such a shock finding out I was pregnant with my first that I definitely didn’t feel like a mum as soon as I got a positive pregnancy test. I think once I got a bump it all started to feel more real and I feel in love with my little baby. Although, when he was born I felt nothing but shock and fear…definitely didn’t get that rush of love thing straight away. So lovely you felt like a mum very the very beginning of your daughters life. Thanks for linking up to #BlogCrush xx

  24. It really does feel so much more real once you get a bump! I remember before I got a bump, I was feeling so exhausted and ill but had nothing to show for it. Once I started to have a bump, I didn’t feel quite so bad about feeling bad in a silly sort of way!
    Everyone handles situations in different ways. Birth is quite an event, so I can understand feeling shock and fear! Thank you for commenting xx

  25. Yes, it is a bit of a shock as you don’t quite know what to expect! I’m probably not the most maternal person you could meet, so I was concerned – but I definitely had so much love for her immediately. x

  26. I think I have felt like a mother my whole life, it was the one thing that I was always sure of, that I wanted more than anything else. When my eldest was born and placed in my arms it simply confirmed what I already knew, that I was born to be a mother! #brilliantblogposts

  28. What an interesting question and one that nobody has ever asked me – and I’ve never even asked myself. I think I first felt like a mum when I first discovered I was pregnant – I distinctly remember feeling that I would never be alone again, as I had this little thing to look after. I always knew I wanted to be a mum and was very lucky that it happened. #postsfromtheheart

  32. What on earth has this got to do with ‘pro-life’ or ‘pro-choice’ arguments? Such a strange statement to open with.

  33. Not really. That argument is something that a lot of people are very passionate about.
    Therefore, I was anticipating that there may be comments from people saying that you are a mother right from the start. I don’t want to wade into that argument and get anyone upset, therefore I made that statement to rule that this blog post was not about that and I don’t wish to discuss it as it’s such a sensitive topic.

  34. I don’t mean to bring this wonderfully positive post down but to me , the day I found out I had Miscarried was the day I felt like a mum because I felt like I had let me baby down and I was a failure of a mum. I’ve worried since then that I had no right to feel like a mum at all and something that upsets me as I don’t know what’s right. Does that make sense ?

    Sorry to be so down! Thank you for sharing your post ! Cxx

  35. That’s so sad, I’m sorry for your loss 🙁 You absolutely have the right to feel like a mum. You had a baby so therefore in my eyes you are a mother. You didn’t let him or her down either, sadly these things just happen sometimes. You must be kinder to yourself xx

  36. This is a tricky one. A thought provoking book question! I suppose if I’m 100% honest it had to be once my little girl arrived and everything fell into place. Pregnancy was a tricky time. I adore being a mum, it’s the best thing ever! ??

  37. I felt like a mum that first night I held her in my arms and realised how dependent she was on me, but also how unpredictable and real she was. Throughout pregnancy it felt more like s science project. I followed all the advice and was fascinated by how my body was changing, but it didn’t feel 100% real

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