This week, half a decade has passed since I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. If you’ve been reading the blog for some time, you’ll know that since she could talk, I’ve done a round-up of some of the funniest things she’s said that year. Children are just so adorably funny. I love looking back on these! This year has provided many more hilarious moments.
Autumn went through a phase of counting her toes. On one occasion I asked her why. She replied “I’m just counting my toes to make sure I still have 10”.
One day she was playing with her dolls while I was working. All of a sudden, she exclaimed “I think Jasmine is maybe having a bad day because her head has come off”.
Autumn loves to follow me around the house. Often, a little too closely! When I was looking through my wardrobe she said “Mummy, I can see your marry costume”. The way she said it too just really tickled me.
When Reuben was only a couple of months old, I said to him “I can’t believe you’re going to be a big, hairy man one day!” Without missing a beat, Autumn said “Yeah, just like us!”
On another occasion, I said “I was thinking of going for a walk in a minute”. Autumn replied “Well, I’m staying here”. “No, you’re coming with me. You can’t stay here by yourself!” I responded. She retorted “Why? I can handle the house all by my own!”
Autumn always wants someone to play with her. She’ll very rarely happily play on her own. One day, I said to her “Learning to play on your own is an important skill for a kid to learn”. In such a sassy way, she said “No, I don’t think so…” then muttered “you weirdo” under her breath! I think she may be 4 going on 15?!
What child doesn’t love playing dress up? One of Autumn’s favourites is her police costume! One day, she was looking for people to arrest. So I deliberately threw a food wrapper on the lounge floor. She told me she was putting me in “handcups” (handcuffs) for being a “little ant” (litter lout).
Pretending to be a police officer was quite a long phase. Another day, she managed to drop her police hat in the nappy pail and asked my husband for an “auntie wipe” (antibac wipe).
When it comes to injury, Autumn can be a little dramatic. Earlier in the year, she cut her finger and I suggested running some water on it. She came back into the room after doing so. Shoving her finger towards me, she shouted “It’s blooding off again!”
One of the funniest things about having children is how utterly bonkers and random they can be! One day, I caught Autumn scrunching her eyes up tightly, then she grinned at me. I asked her what she was doing and she replied “Showing how beautiful my eyelashes are!”
The lockdown at the beginning of this year saw dire weather and continued as we came out of it. Late afternoon one day, I just needed to get out for a walk, regardless of the weather. We decided to go to the nature trail at Bluewater. For some reason, Autumn decided it was a good idea to climb on The Very Hungry Caterpillar, even though it had been raining. Walking back to the car park afterward, she complained “My trousers are so wet, I don’t even feel like myself anymore!”
Autumn thinks that as people get older, they get taller. One day she asked how old I was. My husband said “The same age as me, not that she wants to admit it!” Surprised, she exclaimed “But she’s really short!”
When I first explained Covid-19 to Autumn last year, I referred to it as “the naughty germ”. We’ve had many discussions around it since. However, I think she summarised it well when she groaned and said “Nobody likes the naughty germ test, not even robots or Santa!”
Another popular topic of conversation has been Santa (even in the summer!) I mean, obviously Santa is VERY important to four year olds. Autumn even once told me that she loves Santa more than Dave and I! (Rude!) “How do you know so much about Santa, anyway?” she asked me one afternoon. I replied “Because I’m a Mummy! I know all sorts of stuff!” Without missing a beat, she said “And I know a lot about camper vans, don’t I?” (She doesn’t and I have no idea why she said it!)
Recently, on the walk home from school she saw a car with a cover over it. Grabbing my arm, she said “Look Mummy, it’s a ghost car!”
I’d love to hear what funny things your children have said. Tell me in the comments!