Dear Autumn,

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I gave birth to you and first held you in my arms. I was overwhelmed with love and adoration, just as I am today when I look at the beautiful little girl you’ve become. We went through a lot, but you came out fighting and caught up to be just where you should be! I’m so proud of you, but scared of how fast the time has slipped away already, despite the fact I’ve tried desperately to savour it all. I’m going back to work next week and am already terribly sad about the time I’m going to miss spending with you, as well as worried how you’re going to get on. 

For many reasons, this has been the hardest year of my life. I’ve screamed, I’ve cried, I’ve done things I never thought I was capable of doing. I’ve crumbled, I’ve fought and risen like a phoenix from the ashes. All of it is because of my experiences of the rollercoaster that is motherhood. However, it has also been the best year of my life. I finally got the baby I’d dreamt of having for years and you, my darling, are so wonderful that you surpassed my expectations of having a child. I never imagined how fiercely I’d be able to love, how protective I’d feel or how just how proud I’d feel. Your face and smile light up my world and you’re just the most beautiful and perfect thing I’ve ever seen.

Let’s take a stroll through the last month and what we’ve been up to.

First steps

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYMR2PwA7e8/?taken-by=autumns_mummy

A couple of days after you turned 11 months old, you finally took your first steps after weeks of looking like you wanted to but lacking the confidence! You will now walk a few steps of your own accord occasionally, or walk a few steps to Mummy or Daddy before getting excited and flinging yourself forwards onto us. Generally though, you prefer to crawl still – it’s something you mastered long ago now and as such it’s much faster! Why would you bother walking when you can get into destruction mode far quicker crawling, after all?

First postcards

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYLaKU0gf2y/?taken-by=autumns_mummy

Your Nan, Grandad, Uncle and Great Nan all went on holiday to Cornwall. You received two postcards from them! You looked at the pictures of the bears on the front, but lost interest and crawled off when I read the messages on their backs. I’ve kept them for your memory box and am sure you’ll be more interested in reading them when you’re older!

First paddle

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYRAofAgggK/?taken-by=autumns_mummy

Unfortunately, we didn’t properly get to the beach this year, largely due to work and family commitments. However, we did take you for a little paddle at Grain on a warm day in late August. You didn’t seem too sure about the waves lapping at your little feet!

Meeting Peter Andre

https://www.instagram.com/p/BYlu4s3giGS/?taken-by=autumns_mummy

You met Peter Andre! You’ve met more famous people in your short life than your Great Nan has, and she’s in her 70’s! He held you for a few seconds but you wanted me and started crying. He tried pulling some funny faces to cheer you up, but it didn’t work so I held you for a photo instead.

Forest school

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZD9ca8AuDM/?taken-by=autumns_mummy

You went to forest school for the first time and wore your very first pair of wellies! You enjoyed crawling around in the mud and playing with sticks. However, I think your favourite part was when I fed you some blackberries from a pot that I’d foraged for the evening before!

Cake smash

A couple of days before your 1st birthday, you had a cake smash with our wedding photographer! You looked so cute! Surprisingly, you didn’t even seem to really notice the cake at first. Once you were introduced to the taste of the icing it didn’t take you long to get into the swing of things, however! I can’t wait to see Robert‘s photos of you.

Present opening

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZVywh4Aego/?taken-by=autumns_mummy

For the first time, you were big enough and had enough understanding to help me open your own presents! You helped me to rip the paper and you were absolutely delighted to hold and play with small pieces of paper.

Birthday party

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZaLPT7gsyb/?taken-by=autumns_mummy

You had your first Birthday party! As one of our most favourite programmes is the Twirlywoos, we chose that for the theme. Your cake was made by the amazing Helen of Homemade with Love Cakes, based in Gravesend. It looked fantastic and tasted really good too!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZaMML3ARCh/?taken-by=autumns_mummy

You got so excited by all of your birthday presents, climbing over them all! The first present you chose to open was the Very Important Lady from the Twirlywoos from Nanny and Grandad. You had so many lovely presents! Two that particularly come to mind from your party are your cuddly dog from your Auntie, which you adored, and your first doll from Mummy and Daddy. You looked delighted when you saw it and kissed its forehead, with a hand gently placed on its cheek.

I just feel so privileged to watch you grow from a newborn into a little girl, my little girl. I’m so lucky to be your mummy.

Happy Birthday sweetheart and here’s wishing you good health, lots of love and happiness over the next year (and for life, actually!)

All my love always,

Your Mummy xxx