The 10 commandments of breastfeeding

When it comes to feeding a child, every parent knows there are things you must have in place first whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle feeding. If you forget something, you’re likely to regret it for the rest of the feed. It’s even worse if you get nap trapped after they’re finished!

The other day, I finally managed to boob Reuben to sleep after hours of him being a bit grouchy. He slept in my arms while I did some writing and caught up on admin tasks. The thing was, I forgot to get myself a fresh glass of water before I fed him. He slept in my arms for hours and I made the most of it. However, I couldn’t stop looking up at that empty glass, feeling increasingly thirstier as the minutes ticked by. It got me thinking about all the things we need to have in place before breastfeeding. Being a bit tired and dehydrated, for some reason I started thinking about it in a 10 commandments kind of context. So without further ado, here are my tongue in cheek 10 commandments of breastfeeding:

1. First collect thy muslin cloth

2. Thou must have a large drink within thy reach

3. Thou must have an abundance of snacks

4. Thy snacks must include chocolate. Lots of chocolate. ALL the chocolate!!!!

5. Keep off thine child’s scratch mitts and brace thyself for scratches

6. Thou must wear an accessible top, lest thee be annoyed for the rest of thine day

7. Thou shalt have a comfortable chair, or woe betide thine back

8. Do not tip thy milk collector

9. Keep thy remote control and phone near

10. Adore thy child for these days will be over sooner than thy will know it

Is there anything else you would add to the list? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Leave a comment