After having a child, I think many women have body confidence issues. Even if you fit back into your pre-pregnancy jeans soon afterwards, it’s unlikely that you’re the same body shape. I’m not convinced anyone goes back to being just the way they were. That’s okay though, we’ve delivered our babies, which is a wonderful thing. However, when we look at extra pounds and stretchmarks in the mirror, it can still make you feel rather down! Often, though, the men in our lives don’t seem to mind too much. I asked my husband to write me a letter about my postpartum body and his thoughts about it. All being well, I can read this in the future if I’m ever looking at my reflection and tearing myself to shreds again!
Dave’s thoughts on my postpartum body
Your body started to change not long after you fell pregnant with Autumn. It started with your breasts growing, which was a sign of the pregnancy. Slowly, your tummy started to grow as Autumn got bigger and bigger. You didn’t develop any stretchmarks on your tummy until near the end of the pregnancy. You didn’t gain any weight on any other parts of your body apart from your tummy and breasts throughout the pregnancy; which although it could be considered a good thing did make you more unstable on your feet as you had trouble supporting your growing bump. After Autumn was born your tummy quick shrunk back down and you were able to fit in your old jeans again. Although I was glad for you, I was sad to see the bump go. However, I loved your body before the pregnancy, during it and afterwards too.
You have confidence issues with the stretchmarks that remain on your tummy, but I don’t think they’re in any way a problem. They’re not massive, they don’t look like bolts of lightning or anything, like Harry Potter’s scar. They’re just little stretchmarks that are slowly fading. The stretchmarks are a sign of the wonderful gift you’ve given me, Autumn. I would kiss them and tell them “Thank you for what you did!” but I don’t think you’d like that. You would probably swat me away!
You have such deep blue eyes that have never changed throughout the whole time I have known you; I have always loved them and now they hold behind them the wonderful experience of growing a little person in your tummy. I see this experience and everything else you have experienced since glisten in your gorgeous eyes everyday; I’m so grateful and happy to see it there.
I’ve always found you attractive and even after having the baby, I still find you just as attractive. You have such a wonderful body shape, even though it’s changed. I love you just the way you are. From the tip of your toes to the scrumptious hairs on your head, you’re absolutely beautiful; just perfect.
Please don’t ever change; I think you are perfect and I love you just the way you are!
Your ever adoring husband,
My thoughts after reading the letter
I knew that Dave still found me attractive, even though I can’t see it myself and my confidence has been impacted. However, it’s lovely to read such a beautiful letter from him showing exactly how he feels. The funny thing is, I think we often criticise our bodies so much, particularly postpartum, and our partners don’t even really mind. Maybe, just maybe, mothers should be a little easier on themselves. If only society looked at our sons and daughters more and realised that not having a magazine-perfect body is a small price to pay. Life is not airbrushed to perfection. Real life has quirks just as our bodies do and sometimes we’re fortunate to have someone in our lives who loves us just the way we are.