Collaborative Post¦ You know all about the nappies and nighttime feeds. You prepare yourself for some sleep deprivation, perhaps some emotional wobbles. But what no one quite warns you about is just how strange, grimy, and utterly not-glamorous postpartum recovery itself can be. There seems to be some unseen dividing line; everyone fawns over the baby and kind of bypasses the mother.
Your Body Has Questions You Can’t Google
You think you’ve got the hang of it, and then one day you stand up, and it feels like your organs are rearranging themselves. Literally. There’s this strange pulling or a sudden pang, and you pause, wondering, “Is that normal?” And because nobody warned you, you quietly pretend you’re fine.
The Hormones Deserve a Chapter of Their Own
One minute you’re happily rubbing your baby’s cheek, and now you’re groaning into a crumpet because it took too long to boil the kettle. The birth hormone dip isn’t to be underestimated. There isn’t a lovely graph to it. Some mums feel absolutely fine, some mums can’t stop bawling uncontrollably at anything at all for weeks. There isn’t a right or a wrong here. All it implies is your body’s doing an absolute internal reorganising, and now and then, that requires tears because your toast’s too brown.
Hair, Skin, And Everything In Between
No one prepares you for the mirror surprises. Your skin might go dry, or spotty, or both, just for fun. And then, just as you’re finally getting a few hours of sleep, it starts happening. The clumps in the shower. The thinning parting. Hair loss can sneak up and leave you wondering whether it’s stress or something more serious. Most of the time, it’s just your hormones waving their unpredictable wand again. It usually eases after a few months, but it can really knock your confidence while it’s happening.
Things That Leak (Without Warning)
You’ve stashed spare clothes for the baby, but none for you. And you sneeze. That’s all you need to know. If it’s your boobs or your bladder, you quickly realise body parts don’t keep it all together like they used to when you were a little older. That’s why mum bags are enormous.
The Mental Load Isn’t Always Noisy
Some days, you rest, and everything is within manageable limits. Other days, changing a nappy equates to climbing a mountain barefoot. There’s an unspoken heaviness which can build a form of keeping positive while juggling what seems to be a million unacknowledged responsibilities. The fog can grow gradually, even in a place of love. That’s why it’s worthwhile to say something.
More Than Grace by Steve Wilkins
They’ll say to be kind to yourself, and that’s beautiful. But what you absolutely need is time. Time to recover, to be you again in this different kind of life. And time to know that nothing’s ever amiss with you just because you don’t feel like “you” immediately. There will be moments when it will feel like you’ve made progress. There will be moments when it will feel like a disaster. Don’t worry; both are okay.
If you’re in that place presently, the place where nothing makes sense, physically or emotionally, just remember you’re not alone. Most mums are quietly sporting strange little postpartum surprises as well. You’re doing better than you believe.
Cover photo by Sarah Chai: https://www.pexels.com/photo/unrecognizable-mother-feeding-baby-on-couch-7282322/