Wow, I don’t even know where to start. It’s been so long since I’ve been here and life has changed a lot. For the worse, unfortunately. Over the spring and summer I took an unplanned hiatus after my Nan became very ill and ended up being admitted to hospital. She was very young for her age and appeared to be in good health for it beforehand, so it was rather a shock. After 9 weeks in Darent Valley Hospital with questionable care (including one accident which could have been life threatening), no real diagnosis and conflicting information from doctors, she passed away. So my hiatus has continued while I try to navigate the grief and trauma of all this. I am also currently recovering from a muscle injury (the side of your body between your ribs and hip bone is not really meant to impact wood hard after falling from a distance of around 7 feet away). All in all, it has been a really rubbish year.
Writing Again
I have missed writing profusely so I am just beginning to gently ease my way out of hiatus. Have you missed me? Haha. This feels so weird; I’ve forgotten how it feels to write something knowing it could be read by anyone anywhere. That’s part of why going forward I want to be a bit more selective about what I blog about; I want to create things that are either useful or from the heart. This year has changed my perspective on lots of things. The other reason I need to be more selective is because I am in my final year of university and I am determined to get a distinction and secure a first overall. My Nan was always so proud of my achievements, so I feel I need to do it not only for myself but for her too. There was a time I used to blog 4 or 5 times a week, but that certainly won’t be the case going forward!
A Good Part of Summer
I know I said that my summer was rubbish, and it was, I spent the whole summer grieving and doing funeral related stuff really. There was one good week, though (apart from the random crying spells from me). At the beginning of the holidays, we went to Wales for a week. Last year when we went camping in Pembrokeshire, we had rain and gales almost all week. In fact, on the last night, there was a severe weather warning due to Storm Antoni and the tent was so noisy. It was flapping around so much all night and we were concerned it was going to fall down. We were outside at 3am hammering in the tent pegs more to try and prevent that. It worked though, because unlike some other poor people’s tents, ours was still standing in the morning! A week before she passed, my Nan found the energy to tell me she hoped we’d have better weather this year. Well, perhaps she engineered it from wherever she is because we had beautiful weather all week. I’m sure I’ll share more in a dedicated blog post soon.
Progressing into Autumn
It’s still officially summer, but I am starting to look back and wish for the warmer days we had on holiday. The weather seems to have decided that it’s September and therefore it’s going to be autumnal. Without question, change is in the air. New uniforms, shoes, and classes for the children, more hostility in the world judging by the news, autumn approaching and for us, and many others, an empty chair when we gather. Life is short, so we must love hard even though we know it’ll hurt like hell when we’re forced to part.
Cover photo by Autumn Mott Rodeheaver on Unsplash